No Hands
by DarthFissure95
Summary: Six months after the Fall of Beacon, R tries her best to keep herself away from both her friends and her enemies. With a Semblance that attracts the worst people nearby, R has to live day by day constantly looking over her shoulder, especially when a serious killer finds a way into R's world again, and has every intention of taking it by force.
1. Preview

**AN: Something new I'm working on. To kick it off though, I decided to write a sneak preview to ease the readers into the tone of the story. Think of it like the character trailers from RWBY. The specific scene might not be in the actual story, but it serves as an introduction of sorts. Please leave feedback and let me know what you think!**

The room is cast in dark shadows, lit only by the flickering lightbulb above that was screwed in at an odd angle but still somehow works. The whole room is almost empty, save for a small table placed between two boarded windows. On the table is a cubed device streaming a holographic video screen against the stained wall. The screen is tuned to a news outlet.

"There's no way around this, Turq. The world is literally blowing up around us and there's no end in sight with the Huntsmen and Huntresses scattered and in hiding…"

The screen switches channels to another news outlet.

"A small faction of the White Fang invaded the center courthouse in the city of Reliqua this morning, resulting in twelve deaths and about thirty-six injured…"

The screen switches yet again, this time settling on a conspiracy outlet.

"I always knew Professor Ozpin was a liar and a coward! Was I not right fifteen years ago when he mysteriously disappeared from Beacon for a while? He couldn't stick around then, and he's not sticking around now!"

Finally, the screen winks out and the one with the remote controlling it heaves a great sigh. She's a woman in her early twenties with short-cropped black hair that's long enough in the front to dangle over her emerald eyes as if the strands are tantalizing her. She is sitting cross-legged on the floor while trying to recollect her thoughts. Her cybernetic hands rest themselves on her lap as she stares down at the wood floor. Outside, sounds of people shouting at each other and even throwing things at each other can be heard, followed by the squeal of police sirens.

"White Fang triumphs! White Fang triumphs! White Fang triumphs!"

The woman stands up with trembling knees, afraid at first that she might lose her balance and fall down. She removes the cigarette from her mouth and exhales slowly.

There's a banging noise on the door. The woman flinches and stares at the door with worry creasing through her forehead.

"It's me. Open up," a voice says on the other side of the door.

The woman answers the door, and another woman—several years younger—walks in and brushes past the first. In her hands she's holding a large box.

"I came as fast as I could. I wanted to make sure I had all the right materials," she says.

The second woman has much longer hair than the first, being black but with shades of magenta that seems to sparkle every time her hair shifts, and one chunk of it dangling over one eye is completely magenta through and through. Her nose has a silver piercing and one of her eyes is pink while the other is yellow. A scar runs across her neck, and she's wearing a plain, orange shirt and black shorts.

She places the box on the floor and gets down to peel it open. The first woman sits down with her. Once the box is open, she peers in. Half a smile slips through her features.

"Some of the parts might be a little outdated. A few of them might not even work at all. Collecting all this stuff was like a long shot in the dark," the second woman says.

The first woman looks up at her with a rare twinkle in her eye. "These will do just fine, Petunia. Thank you."

Petunia grins but it's a sad grin. She clamps her hands together and wrings them, as if expecting something she doesn't want to see.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay here with you? Two heads are better than one, as they say."

"I can't let you," the first woman says. "I'm sorry. I know you're alone, but I'm not good company for you."

"You're not the worst though."

"I'm in danger of becoming that. If I need you right here with me, I'll let you know."

Petunia stares down at the floor feeling slightly dejected, but quickly shakes it off. "Okay. I'll leave you with your toys."

Petunia gets up and starts heading back to the door. She stops once she gets there and looks back. "I hope you find your freedom."

The first woman's shoulders droop. "Not as long as I am what I am, Petunia."

Petunia's own shoulders droop and she shuts the door behind her with a sigh. The woman remains sitting on the floor as she starts pulling things out of the box. Behind her, the evening light coming in through the windows begins subsiding, and grows darker and darker until the woman's whole figure is shrouded in shadow and her black hair becomes one with the darkness.


	2. Ch 1: Scarred Metal

**AN: This takes place six months after the Fall of Beacon from _RWBY: Volume 3_. The tone is different from the main _RWBY_ series, and admittedly I had to debate over whether or not to keep the T rating or jump to M, but ultimately I've made sure to keep a bit of the original show's spirit, and at the same time explore some themes I've never explored in fanfiction or otherwise. I'll let the readers discover what the themes are for themselves. Please leave feedback and don't be afraid to be critical as long as it's civil!**

Under a shattered moon, the kingdom of Vale barely stood. While most of the city still stood tall, some buildings were in shambles, and others had completely fallen in upon themselves into their foundations. Dozens of street corners shrieked with the sounds of police sirens and shouting matches. Some of the matches would get broken up by gunfire and shattering bottles.

Most of the city was dark, with a lot of the only light made possible through backup generators and special lightbulbs emanating green light sent in from Atlas that didn't have to rely on electricity. Some of the holographic streetlights were broken, and other holograms meant for advertising and communication were harder to get working again. School semesters kept going, but with heightened security, consisting of more security cameras and armed androids from Atlas.

Freedom was a word most people didn't know anymore in Vale. Unity was an even rarer word. Peace was nonexistent. All of these qualities were things that Vale once had but were now forgotten. Things were never going to be the same, and no matter how many years get spent on rebuilding, Vale was never going to fully get rid of the scars.**

*R was one of those people with scars that were never going to fully heal. Some of them were physical, as two silver, cybernetic hands filled the hollow places where her flesh-and-blood hands used to be. With a book called _Violet's Garden_ under one arm, R stepped into a small bar called _The Witch's Apple_. Having once been an actual sit-in restaurant, the business got downgraded to a simple bar after, not its first, but second destruction nearly six months ago. The owner got tired of rebuilding it, and wasn't sure if rebuilding a third time was even worth it if another incident was bound to happen again.

R sat down at a table by the window and flipped her book open to read. She brushed some of her black hair out of her eyes and tried to concentrate on the words, while trying not to give too much thought to what she knew was bound to happen. Any minute now. Any second.

"Bars weren't really made for reading, you know," someone said beside her.

R grinned and closed her book up. She looked up at the man who had come over to her. With curly, greasy hair, an ugly goatee attempting to make its way around his pursed lips, and a yellow, brown-stained V-neck, the man looked almost exactly the way R would expect. He, Violo, was the man R was looking for, but she didn't have to look for him until she found him. She knew that he would come to her instead. It was a useful event, because if things got hairy, any witnesses would be able to see that the man was the one who approached R, not the other way around.

Violo squinted, as if he somehow recognized R. If he did, it wasn't because R gave him any consent to know her. "I've seen you around. You put bad boys away because you've got nothing else better to do."

R slid her book over to the side so that it was closer to the window. "It's not like I have to do much to track them down. They always flock to me."

"Which is exactly why I'm surprised you don't lock yourself up in your apartment," Violo pointed out. "I know you keep your door unlocked."

R frowned and she could feel coals in her heart rubbing themselves up against each other, threatening to spark a flame. "What?"

Violo raised his hands and grinned, revealing all of his straight, white teeth. "Hey, don't worry. I've never stolen anything from your place. In fact you're always home when I come in."

R's fists trembled underneath the table. An intense heat billowed up her chest and strangled her throat.

"And I take a minute before I leave, because I can't get enough of seeing your red bra," Violo said.

R shot up and tackled Violo down to the ground. He gasped as the back of his head hit the wood.

"I know. I have pictures to prove that," R whispered. Violo's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He could tell R all that he had done and get away with it if there was no proof he had done any of that, but with pictures, it was a pretty dead giveaway.

"I'm—sorry, I'm sorry…"

R grabbed Violo by the throat and raised her other hand curled in a fist. "Not enough," she sneered.

She let both of her fists fly, pounding Violo's face over and over again until both blood and Dust was leaking from the skin under his left eye. It wasn't fast reaching that point though. Violo had a strong Aura to counteract the blows, but the metal that made up R's hands gave R an advantage that allowed her to pop a hole through Violo's Aura and draw blood.

She was about to start using both of her fists to smash down on both of his eyes (no sense in having them if he was just going to be a pervert with them), but was stopped when someone behind her grabbed her by the wrists and spun her around. She came face-to-face with another customer from the bar. This one was bald and sported an eyepatch. He wore a sleeveless gray shirt and had the handle of a knife protruding out from his belt.

"Stop. You're going to have the Huntress on our case," he said.

"I really don't think the Huntress cares," R replied. She punched Eyepatch Man hard enough in the stomach to send him flying. His back smashed against a table hard enough to leave a dent. Another man, skinnier and taller than Violo, stalked his way over to R with a knife in hand but R was ready. When the man swung his knife, R ducked as she spun, and nailed the man's stomach with the back of her fist. The man stumbled backwards with a grunt but still managed to stay on his feet. He flipped the knife up in the air and pushed it towards R's neck, which she was able to keep away using both hands and grabbing the handle, holding it there while her wrists trembled. With a pained grunt, she pulled the knife-hand away to the side, and with the free second she had, she landed a powerful kick against man's chest. The man's body flew backwards and hit one of the windows, cracking the glass behind him.

"You choose to stand in my way and try to challenge me, I _will_ take you down. Because no matter what, that piece of scum is coming with me, one way or ano—."

"Enough!" A voice cried in the doorway. R turned and was only half-shocked to see the Huntress Glynda Goodwitch standing there with two Atlesian knights standing on both sides of her. Her yellow hair was pinned up as it usually was, and her purple cape fluttered in the breeze. Behind her rectangular glasses, her green eyes burned something fierce as she came upon the realization that she had to break up yet another fight. In one hand she clutched her weapon, a riding crop.

"You didn't have to come here, I had this whole thing under control," R said.

"Beating up a bunch of people in a bar is not keeping the peace," Glynda warned. "You only escalated the situation."

"It doesn't matter," R said, kicking Violo's side while he was still lying on the ground. "I'm taking this scum to prison. I have evidence of his mischief."

"You will do no such thing. The knights here will take him, and you will come with me," Glynda ordered.

R grounded her teeth together so hard her jaw ached. "And if I don't?"

Much to R's own surprise, Glynda smiled, which was a rarity. "Then you will find out how much of a match you actually are against a real Huntress."

It was R's turn to smile now. "So, what? You're going to use that magic wand of yours on me?"

Glynda used her other hand to stroke the crop. "You never know. And I'd prefer it if you didn't challenge me to find out."

With a huff, R kicked Violo again and stormed past Glynda to wait outside. Whatever confidence she had had before for herself was gone, replaced with humiliation, something she couldn't feel. She was too strong to feel something like that. Humiliation was a sign of weakness, and no one around her was allowed to think she was weak.**

*Glynda had the two knights that accompanied her take R to her office, which was in a former pottery shop a few blocks down. R couldn't help but feel a pinch of sadness over the fact that the shop was no longer open for business. When she was younger, she would come in occasionally when she wasn't having to run between classes at Beacon and watch other people form beautiful and unique things out of masses of clay.

 _Because at the end of the day, they were just lumpy masses of clay being made into masses of clay with shapes._

The office in the back was nothing special. It was like a walking closet with a wooden desk and a stool on wheels behind it. The walls were an ugly green with splotches of velvet, though R suspected that they were all stains of—something. She didn't even want to begin guessing.

There was no chair for R to sit in and the knights didn't give her any suggestions, so she sat on the floor with her legs crossed and closed her eyes.

She was startled when Glynda entered the room.

 _I must've almost fallen asleep._

Glynda moved around the desk and sat on the stool. She looked uncomfortable sitting on it, which was understandable. With a frown, she peered over the desk to look R right in the eyes. She sighed and shook her head. If she had the ability to sit back, she would've.

"What are we going to do with you?"

R flinched. "I've heard that question before."

"Then you know what I'm going to say next, don't you?" Glynda asked.

"I'm a bitch," R said, raising her hands as if surrender. "Guilty as charged. So what else is new?"

"That's _enough_!" Glynda snapped. R could even hear the knights at the door flinch from Glynda's outburst. As R studied Glynda, she could really see the untamed anxiety corrupting her face. Angry tears bristled in her eyes and her teeth were mashed together, in danger of potentially getting broken if she bit down any harder.

"This behavior from you is nothing new," Glynda said with a trembling tone. "But that doesn't make it any less tolerable. _Especially_ now."

R smirked. "I don't try to be tolerable, I try to be me."

"Well we don't need you. Not here and not now," Glynda said.

R said nothing in response. She had nothing this time.

"Our kingdom is on a tipping point. The smallest gust of wind can blow the whole thing down and it will never be able to recover. We only need the strongest, smartest people helping us rebuild this kingdom, and you're not one of them."

"I'm strong and smart."

"You attract chaos," Glynda said. "That is your Semblance. We discovered that _with_ you years ago." Her face changed, so it looked more sad and weary than tense. "The hard way."

R shifted on the floor, feeling her legs began to protest the way she had them crossed. She didn't want to change positions though. She wanted to appear defiant, and one of the ways that was going to happen was if she stayed the way she was.

"There's a point to all of this?" She asked.

Glynda's eyes narrowed. She was clearly irritated but also trying to maintain her posture and choose her next words carefully. She chewed her bottom lip in thought and folded her arms, one hand still holding the crop.

"The point is—as we continue to bring order back to Vale, I ask that you stay away from public. If I could have my way, I would've had you leave this kingdom and go somewhere else, but Atlas is warning against it until communication between kingdoms is back up. So with that being the case, stop trying to lure all these bad guys to you to stop them yourself. We have Atlas soldiers and knights for that, _and_ a couple well trained Huntsmen and Huntresses. _Real_ Huntsmen and Huntresses."

R felt a spark of heat jolt up her stomach and she was in danger of leaping to her feet. " _Real_ Huntsmen and Huntresses?" She repeated.

"That's right," Glynda answered with a nod.

"I'm real. I'm more real than you're even willing to admit. Because I win. Every time. I've done more in the past six months on my own than an entire school full of Huntsmen and Huntresses were able to do. And you were there too," R said.

Glynda gritted her teeth again. Her hand holding the crop trembled. "Get out."

"Your entire group of students couldn't save the kingdom. _You_ couldn't save the kingdom. And your precious Headmaster couldn't either."

"I said—get. Out!" Glynda waved her crop, and R felt herself get lifted off her feet and tossed backwards out the door, collapsing onto the floor in a heap. Her shoulder gasped in pain and a spasm like a needle flitted over her wrist, which was buried underneath her chest. With a grimace, R spit out a wad of blood and heard the door to the office slam shut. Their meeting was over.

R's work in Vale however, was far from it.


	3. Ch 2: Fragility

One of the things that was most striking to R was that in Vale, as it currently stood, you could walk down one street that was lit up by streetlights and glowing signs of restaurants and shops and had a lot of people walking in opposite directions of each other on the sidewalks chatting with unnecessarily raised voices, but by just turning a corner, you would find yourself walking down a trashy, darkened street with closed up shops with boarded windows or crumbled buildings that creaked. Cars would be parked alongside the street with men and women alike sitting in them smoking cigars or sharing a bottle of wine.

R was walking down a crummy street after her 'meeting' with Glynda with her hands stuffed in her pockets trying to keep her head low. She didn't have a car of her own, so she had to walk all the way back to her equally crummy apartment.

As she passed by one car in particular, she couldn't help but steal a look to see a young couple making out in the back of it. They looked like they were going to start taking clothes off any second now, which was enough for R to want to keep walking, but thanks to some morbid curiosity, she couldn't move her feet or look away. She focused much more on the man whose lips were locked onto the woman's. His black hair was slicked back with one strand hovering over his left eye. There was nothing gentle though about the way he went about romancing his partner. He was fierce. His hands gripped the woman's arms in a concerning grasp. R looked at the woman's hands that were pulled around behind the man's head, which forced R to look down at her own. Nothing but whirring cold metal.

A feeling sprouted up inside R that she hated having, but was too real to be ignored.

Jealousy.

Not because the woman in the car had flesh and bone hands, though R was not at all opposed to the idea of having those again, but because of what she had with her and what she got to share.

Things escalated just as R predicted, and the couple was too busy to even notice R standing there. She wanted to stomp over to the car and pound on the window, get the two of them to stop and go home so that no one else had to watch them.

Before everything went to hell six months ago, even the crappiest streets in the kingdom didn't have sights like these. People were much more at ease then, not driven by an underlying paranoia that caused them to be driven by frantic emotion and fear to make decisions. R heard on the local news recently that a man pulled a gun he had under his pillow on his own wife when she came back home late from work. He didn't pull the trigger, but the event traumatized both of them.

Life was hell for most people in Vale after the fall of Beacon, but for R, life had been hell even before all that happened. Nothing was even that different for her in the after, the only difference being that Glynda was now a driving force in her life again, which she despised.

She always hated the crop-wielding Huntress. Hated how she was always constantly skeptical about her. R had never received a single encouraging word from her, which she wouldn't have even cared about had it not been for the fact that Glynda was always openly criticizing her, even in front of everyone else.

It seemed like no matter what she did to try and impress Glynda, nothing ever worked.

R caught the tear before it could fall all the way to the cement, looking down at it in her fake palm with a grimace sliced through her features.

 _Why are you crying? Are you seriously this fragile?_

R looked up and saw the young woman in the car putting her shirt back on over her head and decided it was time to move on. She kept walking, quickening her pace in case the two in the car might still spot her. It was time to go home and lock the door and go to bed. She could count how many hours she has slept over the last two days on one hand.

When she got to her apartment and walked up to her door, she noticed it was slightly ajar, meaning someone was here or _had_ been here. R sucked in a breath and bit her lower lip. Had Violo been taken in or was he let go? Was he in R's apartment waiting for her?

She pressed her fingers against the door and slowly pushed it open, feeling her pulse bolt out of her chest when the door made a sharp creaking noise. She flinched and almost shut her eyes.

Once the door was all the way open she was able to see what was supposed to be a living room, but was more like a meditation room for R than anything else. The room was completely empty save for a small table with a cube on it that can project a video screen. Not that anything broadcasted from any other kingdom was coming in thanks to communication from the outside world being lost.

R didn't have any rugs or carpets in her apartment, just stained wood floors. Every step she took creaked, which made her wonder how Violo was able to sneak into her apartment in the first place. His Semblance might have possibly had something to do with that. Violo didn't strike R as someone who took his time to learn and discover what his Semblance actually was, so maybe he was using it without him even realizing it. She had heard stories of this happening with other people, sometimes those stories ending in tragic ways because the Semblance was that catastrophic when the person didn't know how to control it.

R gasped when someone walked into the almost-empty room from the kitchen carrying a basket full of clothes in both of her hands. It only took a second for R to recognize the 'intruder'. It was her friend, Petunia.

 _Technically_ I'm _her friend and she just decided that we're best girlfriends or something_.

Petunia was a young woman several years younger than R, with longer hair than R's that was black but with shades of magenta that seems to sparkle every time her hair shifts. One chunk of her hair that dangles over one eye is completely magenta through and through. Her nose had a silver piercing and one of her eyes was pink while the other was yellow. A scar ran across her neck, and she wore a plain, orange shirt and black shorts.

"Welcome home," she said with a smile that'd serve as a lighthouse.

"Petunia, what—."

"No need to get excited," Petunia interjected with a wave of her hand. "I was just on my way to your room to get all this folded."

R looked at the basket full of her own clothes in disbelief. "You're—doing my laundry?"

"Yep," Petunia replied. "And I cleaned and tidied the kitchen, dusted all the windows, and swept the floors of, well, all three rooms."

Bewildered and unsure of what to say, R blinked twice and opened her mouth to try and say something.

"I—I really don't know what to say."

"How about 'thank you, Petunia, you're the best neighbor ever'," Petunia suggested.

"How very humble of you to suggest that."

"And that's not all, I ordered a low salt pasta and vegetables for delivery. It should all be here shortly now," Petunia said. She moved on to R's room, leaving a very stunned and speechless R.

Petunia lived a floor above R, but that didn't mean R went unnoticed by her when she moved in. Shortly after R had completely settled in, she came back to the apartment one night to find a tall man with golden ear piercings and a greasy goatee harassing Petunia in the hallway by the staircase. He had his hand in Petunia's hair and was yanking her head back so that she was forced to look up. Her cries of pain were more like a child's whimpers.

"You may be a selfish and empty-headed dunce, but I still want your body," the man had said, moving his face in so that his lips were just inches from her neck.

Enraged by the sight, R had grabbed the man by the shoulder and thrust him away from Petunia, watching his body collide into the wall and crumple to the floor in an unconscious heap. It turned out that Petunia wasn't 'wired' to understand concepts others take for granted. She was also mentally behind a couple years, which meant her desires and the way she carried herself was still somewhat childlike in nature. R immediately found this part of Petunia to be refreshingly endearing however, as it set her apart from the doom and gloom that infected so much of Vale now.

Despite Petunia being younger than R and even younger mentally, she was forced out of her home by her parents with just enough money to rent out an apartment for a couple months. Knowing this, R would stick money under Petunia's door every now and then so that she would be able to continue living where she was. R was reluctant to do this at first, thinking that Petunia's childish impulses would cause her to spend the money irresponsibly. However, while Petunia undoubtedly had a childlike way of thinking, it was clear that she possessed a level of maturity that few people her age had, since in the end she used the money to pay off her bills.

R couldn't deny that one of the biggest reasons why she kept Petunia around and allowed her to call her 'friend' was because she felt sorry for her. She pitied her. But in these days when catching scumbags like Violo wasn't appreciated by the higher-ups, things like this made R feel like she was doing something right with her life.

Even if she didn't think it would last.


	4. Ch 3: Never Forget

Deciding not to let Petunia do household chores for her without receiving something in return, R took her out to ice cream the next day. It wasn't the first time she had done that, and R was sure it wasn't going to be the last. The sky was overcast. No peep from the sun. Walking with feet that looked light and in danger of floating away alongside her, Petunia licked away at two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on a cone, the same kind she got every time, seemingly oblivious to the gloomy weather. R held one scoop of chocolate chip without the cookie dough. She liked her ice cream simple since it was a reminder that her life can be simple.

"Ugh, I feel like this ice cream is going to make me feel sick," Petunia whined.

"Then don't finish it, let _me_ have it," R suggested, holding her hand out as if to take it. Petunia pulled it away from her.

"No! You have your own! I'll finish it. I'm just saying how I might feel afterwards."

"Then why finish it?"

"Because it's _so good_!" Petunia claimed. She opened her mouth wide and took a large bite out of it instead of just licking it.

R rolled her eyes but she still smiled. She didn't understand completely why she bothered to do this for Petunia in the first place besides doing it as payment for what she did for her. What R wondered was if this would all eventually lead to heartbreak somehow. She was too busy to have a younger girl tag along with her wherever she went.

Petunia's smile vanished, the space around her mouth stained with ice cream. Seeing the smile dissipate made R feel slightly disappointed. Seeing Petunia smile was one of the very few things that made her smile too.

"Did your mom ever get you ice cream when you were a kid?" Petunia asked.

R shook her head. "My mom was too busy for me. She never had time for stuff like this."

Petunia nodded and her features turned sadder. "My mom died when I was born."

Both R and Petunia stopped walking. R looked down at Petunia feeling remorse swell up in her chest.

 _Damn it_. _This was so lovely until now. Can I really handle hearing all of this?_

R said the only two words she felt were appropriate. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Petunia said. "In fact, you're making it better."

"How so?"

"Well, you saved me from the bad man, you give me money when I need it, and you take me out for ice cream. You're like a new mom," Petunia said, taking a casual lick afterwards as if what she said was no big deal. R on the other hand struggled to steady herself so that Petunia couldn't notice that she was trembling from head to toe, particularly in her hands. Her hand holding the cone rattled like a loose screw being bombarded by wind.

R looked around, trying to find something that would catch her attention, allowing her to quickly change the subject. Then she realized what they were both close to and started walking ahead of Petunia.

"Come on. Follow me," she said.

With eyes so wide they looked unnatural, Petunia followed R around a corner and down a few blocks to what happened to be the memorial site for the fall of Beacon. Originally it was just a stretch of green land that no one bought or built anything upon, so it was an easy spot to pick as something that only felt right in the aftermath of the attack.

There were rows of tombstones, all with the names of Beacon students and Vale citizens that lost their lives during the terrifying event that changed Vale and the surrounding kingdoms forever. Only about half of the bodies of these people had actually been found, with the rest assumed to have either been consumed by creatures of Grimm or materialized into Dust as its been rumored to happen sometimes. On a giant slab of rock, dozens upon dozens of names were listed, which included Atlas military personnel and Beacon guards and teachers that fell while defending the kingdom.

R brushed her fingers along some of the names, feeling the imprints in the rock. Even after six months, the whole thing felt surreal. It all felt like a terrible dream she was going to wake up from any time now. Every time she woke up in the morning, she would feel the same shock and disbelief that so many other people were probably feeling too.

It happened. All of it. And there's nothing that can be done to reverse it.

"Those are a lot of names," a new voice spoke up. R spun around to see a young boy staring at the rock. He was far younger than Petunia, with dark skin like soot and blue, foggy eyes.

"My mom's one of them," he said.

"I'm sorry," R said. It was the second time she had said that today, in such a short period of time too, and she hated it.

"It's okay. My mom said that good people who die get taken by Dust and are brought to a new world where they can be happy forever," the boy said. He looked up at R, his foggy eyes shifting into a clearer gaze so that it was as if they were completely vulnerable to impalement.

"Do you think my mom was a good person?" He asked.

"I—," R stammered. She looked around for Petunia and saw her standing across the street waiting for her. Her head was bowed and her was hiding her eyes, so all R was able to see was her mouth, which was quivering. She was still holding her ice cream, which was melting to the point of some of it slithering down the cone and painting white lines over her fingers.

"I'm sure she was," R said, but she didn't look at the kid.

 _We shouldn't be here. I was wrong to bring her here_.

R walked away from the memorial site, leaving the child behind, and knelt in front of Petunia. Despite her only being a few years younger, she was abnormally short. Like her personality, she looked childlike.

"Hey, I'm sorry. We can go," R said.

Petunia lifted her cone, nodding her head at the ice cream that was forming a puddle on the concrete beside her. "I need a new cone."

R allowed a slight grin. "Of course."

When R started walking away from the site with Petunia, she was unaware of the man with wide, yellow eyes watching her from a car down the street behind her.


	5. Ch 4: The Gift Of Man

When R returned to her apartment that evening, she flinched when she saw a man leaning against the wall across from her door. He had a five o' clock shadow with green eyes that were thin and sharp like daggers. He wore a white collar shirt that had green stripes, which made R frown in distaste. The dark jeans he wore had gaping holes in them. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was wearing headphones, bobbing his head to whatever music was playing.

"Who are you?" R asked.

The man looked up and his eyes widened when he saw R, yanking his headphones off.

"Hey—oh—hey. Sorry for showing up here unexpectedly like this," he said.

"It's fine I guess, it's just—I don't typically come home to see someone waiting for me here," R said. In truth, she was wary in case this was a trap of some kind. Maybe the man was a friend of Violo's and was here to try and get even with her for him.

The man chuckled, which R had to admit sounded charming. "Of course. I understand. I was there at The Witch's Apple when you had that fight with that one man."

R stopped breathing and her fingers started to curl.

"I'm no friend of that man you beat up if that's your concern. I was just there when it happened," the man said with his hands raised.

R relaxed a little bit and kept breathing, but still stayed wary. She had to.

Noticing this, the man smiled and his gaze fell to the floor. The fact that he was having a hard time looking R straight in the eye formed a lot of questions in R's head.

 _Should this trait of his be seen as a good thing or a bad thing?_

"I live in this building, in my own apartment. I've seen you walk down this way before, so I figured the best way to catch you was to hang around here," the man said, gesturing to the hall they were in.

"But why are you here?" R asked, folding her arms.

"I—," the man stopped and looked down again.

"Hey," R snapped, a little rougher than she meant. "I'm up here. Why are you here?"

The man looked up. "I know who you are. I was a student at Beacon

Academy too once upon a time. We didn't really talk to each other, but you were there the same time I was. It just took me a little while to realize it was you."

R's fingers uncurled and she was almost at a loss for words. She had spent so much time trying to distance herself from anything that had to do with Beacon. While the fall of Beacon was a terrible thing on one side, it had created a certain relief for her on the other. It meant it wasn't still there thriving without her, reminding her over and over again of the painful process leading up to her leaving.

And 'leaving' was putting it mildly.

"So, what? Did you come here to—talk?" R asked.

Half a smile broke out on the man's face. "Well, yeah. Pretty much. If that's okay with you of course."

His demeanor was warming up a bit so that it came off as less awkward and more open. R couldn't help but smile back.

"I guess so. I don't normally get visitors very often at all."

"Well, congratulations," the man said, spreading his hands out in a welcoming gesture. "You got lucky tonight."

R laughed. "That's not exactly something I would call a 'lucky thing'." The man's smile slipped a little, as if he was caught off guard by her statement.

"But maybe tonight is an exception," R said quickly. Truthfully she was unimpressed by how quickly the man's confidence sank. On the other hand, she understood. Her appearance didn't really inspire much confidence in someone to begin with.

The man's smile widened again and he stuck his hand out. "The name is Gilrais. But it's easier to just call me Gill."

R took his hand, feeling Gill's fingers close around her metal palm in a firm grip that sent electric waves through her artificial arm.

 _Amazing. How is it possible that I can feel that?_

It wasn't unprecedented that the power of something like someone's Aura could surpass the limits of what an artificial limb could feel, but the moment still astounded R. There was something truly special about the way Gill's hand felt in hers, and it wasn't warmth. Atlas technology was powerful and far ahead in time, but the minds behind it hadn't yet figured out how one with an artificial limb could still feel if something was warm or cold. At this point, it perplexed R that Atlas tech hadn't achieved or even seemingly attempted something like that yet given they had apparently succeeded in creating a robot that looked creepily close to human and possessed the same wide range of feelings as humans. Here though, it was as though R could feel Gill's own Aura through his skin. It left a tingling residue in her fingers that crackled like electricity.

Gill waited, most likely expecting R to tell him her name in turn. When nothing came out, Gill released her hand and shrugged.

"I understand if you don't want any visitors, especially at this hour," he said.

 _Wait, no._

R placed a hand against Gill's chest just as he moved to walk away. He looked down at it with an eyebrow raised.

"No! I mean—no, it's fine. You can come in," R said.

R's mind was caught in a whirlwind the entire time she led Gill into her apartment.

 _What kind of random luck is this? How is this happening?_

Something that shook and rattled was rising up through R's throat and she struggled to keep herself from making some excited noise and freak Gill out.

"Nice place," Gill said, looking around the almost empty living room. R knew he wasn't actually serious, and in most instances, she would find the urge to punch the person, but this time she couldn't help but smile. She allowed her eyes to scan Gill's body, first taking his long, black hair into account, which reached all the way down his neck nearly passing it completely. The sides of it stopped just shy of his long, broad shoulders, a feature that R found herself particularly impressed with. His shirt, though not looking any less ugly than when she first saw him, clung to his back, highlighting his shoulder blades, which protruded out from the fabric as if they were trying to tear through and break free.

R put both of her hands in her pockets. If she let them linger out any longer, one of them was bound to reach out and touch Gill, which she knew would've been inappropriate.

 _But I'll change his mind_.

"There's a small table in the kitchen if you'd like to sit," R said, heading to the kitchen without waiting for Gill.

"Any drinks?" Gill asked.

"I've got an old bottle of brandy, a gift from a relative in Atlas," R replied.

Gill sat down at the table with a wide grin plastered on his face. "A glass of brandy sounds perfect."

Once two glasses were filled and both Gill and R were at the table, R's thoughts started running at high speed again.

 _For the first time in a long time, I think I might actually get to take a deep breath_.**

*Two cops were sitting in a squad car parked alongside the road ready to weather through a long night. Though they chatted it up and laughed as if everything was right with the world, they knew in the backs of their minds that they were probably going to have to stop several incidents before the whole night was out. Before the fall, there was hardly anything they had to investigate or anyone they had to pull over or arrest. Things were different now. People were causing more trouble, and threats of violence were much more common.

The first cop, a plump man with a handlebar mustache and wearing a stained uniform, pulled a sandwich out of his takeout bag with a satisfied sigh. The second cop, skinnier than the first and with a buzzcut, ate pasta from a plastic container.

Plump Man opened his mouth, ready to take his first bite, when a sudden, disruptive noise made him freeze with his sandwich hovering inches from his mouth.

The noise was screaming, which transitioned into pained cries, which transitioned to sounds of something wet and tearing.

The two cops remained frozen in their car until the noises stopped, which to them seemed like it all lasted an agonizing eternity. They looked at each other with eyes wide and jaws agape. Something was terribly wrong. They waited a minute more in case more noises happen. There was nothing more.

They both stepped out of the car with their flashlights on and started making their way towards the place where the noise came from, terrified of what they might find. They couldn't even bring themselves to say anything. Their tongues were shut down and their voices were off. As they got closer to the source, something in the air grew thick, and they could taste something like metal in their mouths. A rancid stench like death pillaged their noses. Plump Man coughed in response and pinched his own nose.

Finally, they reached the corner where they would turn into an alley. The stench was even worse now, stinking of blood and shredded insides. With one last look between the two of them, they leaped around the corner with their guns drawn. It was then that they saw it. A body of a man with three long, deep cuts through different places in his chest and stomach, wide enough for the cops to see the man's mashed insides. His shirt and neck were soaked with blood, while more blood pooled underneath him. His unseeing eyes stared up into the night sky and his mouth was slightly open, his whole face twisted in an expression of horror.

"What the—?" Buzzcut finally said.  
"We report this, right?" Plump Man asked.  
"Yeah. Yeah," Buzzcut replied, reaching for his walkie-talkie with a trembling hand.

Plump Man gasped when something landed behind them, and Buzzcut was able to turn around just long enough to see a crouched figure with yellow, glowing eyes and hands with long, sharp talons before he felt something slice his throat wide open and everything went black forever.


	6. Ch 5: The Loss Of Innocence

R slammed her glass down on the table with a drunken holler and a laugh. Random muscles in her arms and around her eyes twitched as she ached from laughing.

Gill laughed along with her, his eyes darting back and forth as if he was searching for something he couldn't find.

"I would've never expected you to be someone who'd do that at school," R said.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Gill chuckled. "When you discover you have that sort of power, but you're not in a position where you need to use it, you'd want to use it _somehow_."

Gill was referring to the time he turned a fellow student's sword into complete rubber with his own Semblance. The downside to that ability was that the effects couldn't be reverted. The student had to spend the next week staying up through an endless amount of hours rebuilding it, and Glynda had forced Gill to help him.

"Here," R said, pushing her glass across the table so it was closer to Gill. "Turn this to rubber."

Gill raised his hands in the air and shook his head. "Sorry. I promised myself after that incident that I will never use my Semblance carelessly like that ever again. Only in a serious situation do I ever use it now."

"It's not like glasses are as hard to replace as weapons," R giggled.

"Perhaps not, but responsibility itself is hard to build to begin with. I'd rather not tear it down while I still have it in one piece."

R's face changed, appearing droopier now than it was before. She pulled the glass back to her, eyeing the inside as if to find any remaining drops.

"Yeah. I know how that feels. Responsibility is not my forte."

Gill reached out and placed his hand over R's metal one. Though R was unable to feel its warmth, she could feel something warm sparking within her chest.

"Hey, we all stumble. We all make mistakes, in some cases really stupid ones, but we're all destined to transcend all of them."

"You believe that?" R asked. The words hung out to dry in the air for a moment, making it the only thing R could think about.

"I do. You have a good head on your shoulders," Gill replied with a wink.

A smile began to spread over R again, and her normally foggy eyes sparkled. "Well, maybe you'd like to get a good feel for those shoulders."

Something in Gill's eyes began to sparkle too, until there was a small knock on the door.

 _Really? Now?_

R's mood suddenly swung into feeling irritated. Who could be knocking? No one except Petunia came over, and it was getting late, so she couldn't imagine that it would be her. R got up, headed for the door, and opened it. She was surprised to see that it was indeed Petunia.

"Hi, R," Petunia said. She was wringing her hands together and her eyes were darting everywhere. Something was bothering her.

"Petunia? What are you doing here? It's late," R replied. She kept the door open only a crack so that Petunia couldn't see Gill.

"I was hearing some yelling upstairs in the apartment above me. The people up there sound really upset," Petunia explained.

"I'm sure it's nothing you need to be concerned about, Petunia. It's probably just some couple or siblings fighting."

"They're bothering me. I can't go to sleep. I was wondering if I can just sleep here with you."

"N-no. Sorry, Petunia, not tonight."

"But—."

"I said not tonight. Maybe some other time. Go try to sleep now," R said. She shut the door before Petunia could argue any further. She turned around and saw Gill standing in the empty 'living room'.

"A friend?" He asked.

R walked with purpose towards Gill until she was pressed up against him, kissing him full on the lips with her arms around him in a way that prevented him from breaking out. Not that he seemed to want to. He kissed back, and the two of them struggled to stay on their own feet whenever one of them threatened to knock the other down.

 _Yes! This is it! Everything I wanted. The_ only _thing I ever really wanted._

Gill's kissing moved on to her neck, which took a moment for R to really get used to. It was a completely different feeling and she quickly came to love it.

 _We have to keep going. If this is the only time I'll ever have this, I want to make this worth all that I've ever imagined for this moment._

Before R could make a new move however, the loudest sound she had ever heard in her life shredded her eardrums and something tossed her against Gill, pinning both of them to the floor. The stench of smoke invaded her nostrils and her ears rang loud and hard, threatening to completely deafen her. When she looked up, she could feel a trail of blood forming down her chin. The ringing in her ears was still blasting, and she could see a new light forming and reforming on the wall.

Fire.

"We need to get out of here," Gill gasped.

R was still in too much shock to move. She didn't want to get up and look around and see the damage that had been caused from whatever happened.

 _Was there really an explosion?_

"Gill…"

"I'm here. I'm right here. I'm gonna get you out," Gill said. R felt Gill's arms wrap around her and gently hoist her to her feet.

"Come on, let's go," Gill urged, carrying her along towards the door.

As Gill led R to the hallway, a thought sliced through R's brain like a whirring saw.

 _Petunia! What happened to Petunia?!_

"Gill, we have to—," R's words were cut off by violent coughing that was coming from herself. Something thick catapulted up her throat and out of her mouth.

The wintry air outside sank its teeth into her lungs as Gill got her out of the building and into the forming crowd of police cars, ambulances, and trucks full of Atlas soldiers.

Bracing herself for the horrid picture she knew she was about to witness, R turned around to look at the apartment. What she saw was horrid indeed.

A massive chunk from half of the apartment was missing, with fire and smoke eating away at the rest that was left. Dead and bloody bodies, some with limbs missing, were littered outside around the building close to where windows used to be. Firefighters were working at a feverish pace to put the fires out while medical personnel rushed to aid the wounded.

The rest of the people that survived the blast within the apartment were huddled outside, some crying out loud at the destruction and carnage.

 _This can't be happening. No no no no no. Just a minute ago I—I—._

Just then, another truck with more Atlas military officials pulled up on the side of the road. This one however, had Glynda Goodwitch sitting in the passenger's seat.

 _And just when things couldn't get any worse_ …

R wrenched herself out of Gill's grip. "I have to find Petunia."

"Are you sure that's a good idea right now?" Gill asked, but R persisted. She ran deeper into the chaos, scanning each of the bodies for Petunia.

 _Please don't be one of these, please don't be one of these._

R's heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her head. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her body was trembling from head to toe. Something inside her stomach was threatening to leap out and spew all over the pavement and the bodies. R pressed her hand to her mouth, making sure to pinch her nostrils to block out the rancid smell of blood and cooked flesh.

Finally, R's eyes landed on Petunia, stretched out on the pavement in an unnatural position. One leg was bent at a crooked, sickly shape with blood coating it. It was clear that she had been propelled out a window and rolled a few times before stopping in a heap. Her stomach had been opened up, as if a box cutter had been taken to it, revealing a sloppy mess of entrails. She was shaking and coughing up blood.

 _No…no…_

R ran to Petunia's side and sank to her knees. "Petunia?"

Petunia glanced over at her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was agape, as if she was looking at something terrifying.

"It's okay," she said. "This isn't happening."

R sucked in a breath and more tears spilled from her cheeks. "Oh, Petunia." She looked up and looked around. " _Somebody help_!"

"You don't have to worry about me. This isn't happening. This isn't real. You don't understand, this isn't happening."

"Petunia, please, just—don't talk, okay? Don't move. You'll be fixed up in no time," R said between sobs. She couldn't even keep her composure and stay calm in front of Petunia. She was falling apart. She could feel as though her insides were falling in on top of themselves, forming a giant heap of broken bones and ash.

"This isn't happening. This isn't happening." Each time Petunia repeated that phrase, her tone grew more and more desperate, as if the reality of the crisis was slowly bearing down on her. Her breathing grew more labored, and she cried out in pain.

"No, no, no, no, no! Stay with me, Petunia! Stay with me!" R begged. Pain in her throat clogged her voice and she was in danger of grabbing Petunia and shaking her. That was what she wanted to do, if it meant keeping Petunia awake.

 _So much blood. Someone her age shouldn't be suffering like this!_

"This isn't—." Then, Petunia's eyes stopped blinking. Her mouth stopped quivering. What color was left in her face drained away until her skin was a milky white.

R's jaw dropped. She pulled her hands back, which she just now realized had been clutching Petunia's arms. There were bloodstains all over her metal palms. The stench of Petunia's body hit her full force, and she finally vomited on the pavement in the middle of the street. Shivering and crying, R attempted to crawl over to lie at Petunia's side, but someone stepped up to her.

"Excuse me, miss. We need to take her with us," he said. He was a helmeted officer armed with a pistol. Though R couldn't see his eyes thanks to the helmet, she could tell that he was sympathetic.

"No, please. Don't," R begged, but she could barely get her voice above a whisper. She was in too much pain to speak. Knives were poking and prodding away at her heart, carving through it and slicing strings.

With the help of a medical recovery officer, the soldier took up Petunia's broken body and started carrying it away, which would be the last time R would ever see her.

Gill came over and knelt by R's side, placing a large hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Within R's stomach, the grieving heaviness started to reform into something else. The starting sparks of a fire popped and sizzled there, giving way to a wildfire. R balled her metal hands into fists, hearing the artificial sounds respond to her mental commands.

She turned and saw Glynda, with the brights of several police cars shining against her from behind. Her glowing, green eyes were set on her, leaking violent thunderstorms.

One man still alive was loaded onto a stretcher, missing an arm and both of his legs and coughing up a crimson spray that peppered his stomach. His ribcage rattled as if experiencing an inward earthquake. "Wait!" He pleaded. The two medical officers carrying him stopped.

"We need to get you to a hospital, sir," one of them insisted.

"This—this was all because of a Faunus. He—he blew himself up. I heard him and another arguing next door."

R thought she could actually feel her own veins pop through and around her neck. She bit her tongue so hard she could feel something wet and taste blood. Shades of red clouded her vision and stained the world around her. Finally, she leaped to her feet and bolted away, leaving behind everyone there. She could hear Gill and Glynda calling for her but she didn't answer. Their voices got drowned out by the piercing ringing in her ears.

Her legs carried her fast and far from everyone and everything else. She knew where to go. And she knew what she was going to do.


	7. Ch 6: Bloody Metal

**AN: Sorry for the long wait, guys! To make it up to you, I will be posting the next TWO chapters in one swoop. Hope you guys like it!**

While taking walks with Petunia out in town, R would see hooded Faunus walking into Tukson's Book Trade, a bookstore that was shut down after the mysterious death of its owner Tukson. At the time she didn't give it much thought, but now she had a good idea why they went in there.

She had no intention of being stealthy. She didn't care about sneaking up on them. She wanted them to fear her.

The doors were unlocked when she pushed on them, and she stepped in, feeling the musty air around her. All of the books were still on their shelves where they had been left after Tukson died. R flinched when she heard something like cheering in the back room. The door was shut but she could see light leaking out from underneath. Her fingers curled again and her breathing grew heavier and heavier until she could barely breathe at all. The door was slightly open, leaving a slit that R could peek through at the people on the other side. A group of six Faunus, all hooded with crudely drawn White Fang emblems on their black shirts raised glasses of wine in a toast.

"To the White Fang and Adam Taurus, and to our dear friend Rufous, who gave his life to make a statement for our cause," one of them said. The one who spoke was wearing a gold chain around his neck, evidently meant to symbolize his leadership in the group, and he had a zebra's stripes down his face and along his arms.

"To the cause!" The others cried out, clinking their glasses together.

The coal rubbing up against each other inside R's throat finally sparked a flame. R shoved the door open so hard with her metal hand it snapped off its hinges, collapsing onto the floor and kicking up dust. The group jumped in terror, some dropping their glasses but all of them reaching for the guns at their belts.

"Wait, hold!" Gold Chain urged, raising his hand to steady his men.

R's breathing continued coming out heavy. She felt like she was about to pop a blood vessel.

"Who are you?" Gold Chain asked. He was trying to keep his posture and stay calm. R knew that he was scared though. Everyone in the room was. Everyone _outside_ the room was. All R could see wherever she looked was fear.

From behind her on the waist, she removed her weapon. At first appearing to just be a silver cube, R pressed a button in its side, and something like a pole protruded out from the top, then extended itself with three other poles that shrunk down as they formed a scythe blade at the top.

One of the Faunus took a fearful step back. He had a fox's tail. "Holy crap, she's a Huntress."

"Haven't I seen a weapon like that somewhere before?" Another Faunus, one with horse's hair that extended down the back of his head and to his back, said.

R twirled the scythe in her hands and pointed the blade straight at them, baring her teeth. Then, the weapon in her hand trembled and suddenly broke apart into several pieces, clattering onto the ground in a confused heap. R was left holding the first pole and the silver box slipped off and cracked upon hitting the floor.

The Faunus looked at each other frowning at first, then exploded into laughter, some even doubled over slapping their knees. Tears streamed from some of their faces which were punctured by wild grins.

 _Now's the time_.

R kicked the box, watching it fly and smash into Fox Tail's crotch. With a startling cry of pain, the Fox Tail fell over with his hands over the space between his legs. R dashed after the group clutching the pole, striking it against Horse Hair's leg, listening to the bone snap with a sickening crunch. More screams of pain. R whirled around and jammed the pole up the chin of another Faunus who had a boar's tusks, wincing slightly at hearing the opponent's jaw shatter and the tusks crack, twisting the Faunus' mouth in an unnatural shape and sending him off his feet. One Faunus whose animal trait couldn't be seen pulled his gun and fired a round at R, which she casually blocked by raising her metal arm in front of her face. When another Faunus with a pig's snout attempted to tackle her from the side, she turned to face him and smashed a metal fist into the snout. The skin beneath her punch exploded, painting the man's face in blood. Gold Chain shoved past her and fled for the door.

Horse Hair crawled after him with one hand. "Jade! Wait, don't leave me!"

 _Oh don't worry, he's not going anywhere_.

With a roar that barely sounded human, R tossed her pole after Jade, watching it spin in the air until it finally cracked against the back of his head, sweeping him off his feet. R heard another shot ring out behind her, which she blocked by spinning around and swiping her arm in front of her. A part of her metal arm opened up, revealing a compartment where there was a hidden shotgun. Before the Faunus with the unseen animal trait could move to counteract it, R aimed and fired squarely into his chest, watching with glee as he flew off his feet and got imbedded into the wall.

Fox Tail was back on his feet with his fists up. He came at R, attempting to strike her but R was ready. With the back of her hand, she struck him across the face, watching a bloody tooth fly out of his mouth and listening to his nose snap to the side. Though he hollered, R wasn't done. With as much strength as she could use, she gripped Fox Tail's wrist and forced his hand to take the gun from his belt. She used her other hand to grip his arm so that he couldn't fight back when she twisted his arm over to aim at Jade stumbling towards her.

R dug her fingers deep into Fox Tail's arm and the man pulled the trigger. The bullet buried itself into Jade's throat. His jaw dropped and he crumpled to the ground.

"No!" Fox Tail cried.

R let go of Fox Tail's arm, twisted his wrist so that the gun was pointed at his face, and pulled the trigger. Blood splattered after the bullet exited out the back of his head.

All around her now was just bodies, broken and bloodied. Because of her.

 _Because they killed Petunia_.

R jumped when she heard wailing sirens outside. The police were arriving on the scene and she was in danger of being completely exposed within seconds.

 _Glynda will know what I did here but she can't get me_.

R hurried into the front room, grabbed one of the shelves against the wall and pulled it towards her, creating a narrow but suitable opening for her to hide. She managed to squeeze her way in just as the doors flew open. Circles of lights danced across the floor and the walls and she could hear masses of footsteps shaking the store.

"Down this way!"

R stiffened at the sound of that voice. It was Glynda's.

She saw silhouettes of police officers and Atlas soldiers crowding the room as they walked in sync towards the back room.

"Whoa, what happened here?" An officer exclaimed.

"Check them all, see if any of them are still alive," Glynda's voice ordered.

There was a short period of quiet as the soldiers examined the bodies of the Faunus terrorists. A tense silence that gave R the odd, sensational temptation to break it. But she couldn't. They would never let her go after this. She wanted to be back with Gill, resting in his arms as he held her close to his chest. For a brief time, she got to feel the warmth of a good man and feel his lips against hers. That was a moment she wanted to relive over and over and over again until her lips are too tired.

She wanted to be back by Petunia's side, watching her lick ice cream.

 _You're like a new mom._

Instead of being with either of them however, R was hiding behind a bookshelf while Glynda and the police were investigating a murder scene. A murder scene that she was responsible for.

She stepped out and moved a little closer towards the doorway, in an effort to listen in.

"Ma'm, this one's still alive," one of the officers said.

R's body froze and her heart turned to ice, refusing to beat again.

"Who did this?" Glynda asked.

There was a wet fit of coughing. "It—she had robot arms."

 _It's Jade_.

There was silence, aside from another set of coughing. Eventually even the coughing stopped. She didn't hear anything else from Jade after that.

R could imagine Glynda now, rising to her feet appearing shaken. She didn't need Jade to tell her anything more than he already had.

"What do we do now, ma'm?" The same officer asked.

A little more silence. R thought she could hear heavy, shaky breathing.

"Find R. You'll know it's her if she has metal arms. Arrest her and bring her to me," Glynda ordered.

The ice surrounding R's heart melted and her heart instead burst into flames.

"Then what? We're just gonna put her in jail and hope she doesn't get out?" The officer asked.

"I don't know. She is a danger to this kingdom and the people in it," Glynda replied. It was then that the confidence in her voice broke, replaced by grief. "Find her quickly. Make sure every Atlas soldier and police officer in this kingdom knows she needs to be found."

"Yes, ma'm," the officer replied.

Through blazing tears that scalded her vision, R bolted from her hiding place and fled outside in the chilly air, feeling the bitter cold bite her neck and infect the rest of her body. Several Atlas soldiers were there standing by waiting for orders.

"Hey you, stop!" One of them shouted upon seeing her. He raised his gun at her.

R ran away from the soldiers, moving as fast as she could to get away. She came across a turn into an alley between buildings. Wasting no time, she leaped up at the building to her left, using her metal fingers to dig into the wall and drill holes through the bricks. She kept scaling the wall with her hands, feeling her legs dangling below her.

 _Don't look down, don't look down_.

R heard a gunshot below her. Nothing hit her. She kept going until she reached the roof, then ran across the roof to leap off and land onto the next roof. She rolled upon landing and got back up to keep going. Her lungs squealed at her to stop, begging for a break but she kept going, ignoring her body's cries. Tears streamed down her cheeks and an intense heat choked her eyes.

Finally she stopped on the fourth roof and allowed herself to collapse, hitting the side of her head on the cement. Now she let the tears flow free and she wept out loud. For Petunia, and now for her own freedom.

 _Those Faunus freaks deserved that. Every bit of it._

A migraine began to pulse in the back of R's head, forming and irritating R like a bad rash. The cold held her down like a giant hand pressing down against her.

 _Gill—I need to find Gill._

The sound of police sirens forced R back onto her feet. She waited for a moment, every muscle in her body tensed and prepared for any surprise. None came and the sirens faded out, leaving R in the silence. Of course, nowadays in Vale, it was never completely silent anymore no matter where you were. All at once, R could hear someone (she wasn't sure if it was a man or a woman) shouting and screaming curses, two people arguing over car keys, and a man moaning either from pleasure or significant pain.

 _What a mess. What a horrible, horrible mess this all is._

 _I need to find a place to lay low. And I think I know where that is_.


	8. Ch 7: The Ripper

Bodies littered the floor of the auditorium, most of them either with their throats torn out or missing entire limbs. Stepping through the mess of corpses was the yellow-eyed man dragging his long talons through the floor and slicing the red carpet as he went along.

"None of you asked for this, I know. But this is for the betterment of Vale. You may not see it, but you're not required to. All must play their own role in making this kingdom a better place, and in your cases, that role is to die," the yellow-eyed man said.

Just minutes ago, the entire auditorium was filled with people in a rally meant for conspiring against the martial law set in Vale, which they planned on rebelling against by initiating violent protests in random parts of the kingdom.

At the end of the auditorium right in front of the stage was a man with a deep cut through his stomach. His eyes were wide with panic and his lips sputtered blood. The yellow-eyed man approached his victim with wide eyes himself, except in his case they were open wide with glee.

Despite being hunched over, the yellow-eyed man, known just as the Ripper, had a tall, skinny figure with dark, stiff hair that was sticky to the touch and pulled in several different directions, giving it a wily appearance. He wore eyeliner, but some of it was streaked from one eye. He had on a white shirt with a white vest, both of which were stained with crimson, and jeans that looked like someone intentionally stabbed numerous holes through it.

The Ripper also had a habit of clicking his tongue once in a while between words. The wounded man couldn't tell if this was a nervous habit or a quirky one. Despite the Ripper's confidence, he also seemed slightly off guard, as if he was afraid someone was going to jump out and frighten him.

The Ripper pulled out a bloodstained scroll from his pocket and opened it up, scrolling through several things before spotting something new. Something that brought a giddy grin to his twitching face.

"Well, well, well. R is now a fugitive running from the law. This is good, yes, this is good. Her fear over being hunted will be her weakness and her downfall, and she will be my greatest, most thorough sacrifice."

The Ripper looked back at the downed man, frowning as if he had completely forgotten he was there.

"Ah, oh, well this is embarrassing. I see you fear me, and fear will bring the Grimm. We cannot allow that, oh no, not at all."

The Ripper drove his talons through the man's neck, snapping it back with an earsplitting crunch, then pulled them out, feeling the blood sprinkle across his face.

"Now, to find R. Thankfully, that won't be too hard to accomplish."


	9. Ch 8: Submission

AN: So sorry for the delay! My life has been very busy now that I work full time and am out of my parents' house. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean I never get time to write. Here's the next chapter, which explores the themes of this story in a little more detail. Let me know what you guys think!

*R wasn't completely surprised when she didn't hear the floor vibrating beneath her feet once she got to the large double doors that led into the night club in one of the shadier parts of Vale. Even so, she felt her heart wilt more at the fact. Instead of feeling the beat of disco music, she heard something like shouting. Dramatic shouting, as if someone was monologuing to show off.

She showed her ID to the man wearing red shades and a black suit with a scarlet necktie outside, who raised an eyebrow when he glanced at it. Recognition flashed through his features.

"Its been a long time," he said.

"How's your sister?" R asked.

"Missing a leg thanks to the attack."

"I'm sorry."

"Crap happens. She's a strong woman, she'll get through it."

R nodded and the man pressed a button on his scroll for the double doors to slowly open. R walked through the doorway and the shouting inside grew louder. The inside of the night club was different from what she remembered. The disco balls were still rotating with a white light, but there was no music and no DJ with a bear mask. There were tables with sheets over them and chairs set out on the dance floor, occupied by only a few people, most of whom looked depressed and drained of energy. On the other side of the club where the DJ used to be, there appeared to be a play happening on a wooden stage. Several people, all of them young and short, stood together holding what were probably their scripts.

"…These foul beasts that prowl outside our doors threaten our way of life. We are helpless against them, because no matter how many we kill, more keep coming," one of the actors said.

"Which begs the question, why?" Another actor said. "Why are they so interested in devouring _us_ , when there are dozens of other people on this same road. What have we done to deserve this ill fate?"

R tried to ignore the play. The acting was overdramatic, as if the actors were trying too hard. She continued scanning the room until her eyes landed on the bar, where Junior, the owner of the club was sitting hunched over a drink. Sitting two stools away from him was Gill wearing his headphones.

"Gill!" R cried.

Gill spun around in his stool with wide eyes and a fallen jaw, yanking the headphones off. R ran towards him, feeling fresh tears burst from her eyes as her arms embraced him once again.

"I'm so glad I found you here!" R said.

"I didn't ever expect to see you here. I was afraid the authorities had caught up to you. R, what did you do?" Gill asked. His expression had turned from relief to confronting. His eyes narrowed.

R bit her bottom lip and tried to gather the energy to talk without breaking but it hurt to try. "They killed Petunia and dozens of other people. Glynda Goodwitch wouldn't have dealt with them the way they deserved to be dealt with."

Gill sighed. "You committed _murder_ , R."

"I know, I know. My life is broken. I need to get out of Vale. That's the only way I'll have any hope of fixing it."

"You're not going to turn yourself in?" Gill asked.

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I overheard Glynda and an officer. It's possible that jail time isn't what they're actually going to give me."

Gill's eyebrows shot up when it dawned on him what R meant by that. " _Execution_?"

"I was already a pest before this whole mess. Glynda believes that I'll be the one responsible for Vale being in danger again."

Gill nodded. "Getting out of here isn't going to be easy. No one is allowed in or out."

"I think I might be able to help you with that," Junior said beside Gill. He turned his stool around so that he was facing R. He nodded towards her.

"R. Its been a long time," he said. He sounded sympathetic, which was a rarity for him. It was a tone of voice R knew he only used towards her.

"Hey, Junior," R said.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Gill asked.

"Junior helped me after I left Beacon," R explained.

"So, what kind of relationship did you two have?" Gill asked.

Junior scoffed. "Way to be nosy."

"It was nothing, it lasted a few months and then I went on my merry way," R said.

"Yeah, without saying goodbye," Junior pointed out.

"You know I can't do those kinds of formalities," R said with a huff.

A glint of both sadness and irritation together briefly punctured Junior's expression. "Maybe that's why I didn't go looking for you afterwards."

A pang of guilt and R's cocky shoulders drooped. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah," Junior replied with a dismissive wave. "You still smoke?"

R's eyes lit up. "Whenever it suits me, which is very often."

Junior reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. Taking a match from his breast pocket, he let R take a cigarette, then lit it for her.

"I thought your club had a 'no smoking' rule," R said.

"I lost control of all the rules after the attack," Junior replied.

"I need you to point me in a direction that'll help me get out of Vale without the authorities finding me," R explained to Junior before drawing from her cigarette again.

"You know there's no way out. The Huntress made sure that—."

R cut him off. "I know what the Huntress did, but you're one of the only people in this godforsaken place who would know an alternative way to sneak out."

Junior sighed but reluctantly nodded anyway. "There's only one way I can think of, but it's a small window."

"I'll take my chances. What have you got?" R asked.

"Ever since the attack, a ship from Vacuo arrives once a month with relief supplies. Food and other necessities that are in short supply in this kingdom is all delivered here," Junior explained.

"When exactly?" R asked.

"The third Wednesday of the month," Junior answered.

A frantic realization dawned on R. "That's in three days."

"You'll need to be fast about it, otherwise…"

"I'll be stuck here another month before the next ship comes," R said.

Junior's eyes turned grim. He appeared significantly older than R remembered him. Everyone looked significantly older after the attack.

"You won't want that. Everyone dies here before their time now, sooner or later."

"Where exactly will the ship be docking?" Gill asked.

Junior frowned at him, as if he hadn't noticed he was there the entire time, a gesture that appeared to even throw off Gill.

"The Lachrymose Docks up north. You have to remember though, they won't actually let you on. No one in, no one out, remember?" Junior pointed out.

"I don't intend on presenting myself to the crew at all," R said.

"I'm sure you'll find a way on," Junior replied with a dismissive shrug, taking a swig from a wineglass.

"Three days isn't a lot of time for us to get there without being seen. We're kind of on the other side of this kingdom, dead south," Gill said, his voice tinged with grimness.

R frowned and looked over at him. "You want to go with me?"

Gill stared at R as if she had just asked him if he breathed to stay alive. "Of course I'm going with you. Why wouldn't I?"

"You didn't do anything wrong. _I'm_ the one the authorities want. If they catch you with me, they will take you in too," R said.

"They can do that. I don't care. I want to make sure that you're safe and—." Gill paused, mulling over his thoughts carefully to choose his next words.

"You know, I—I actually kind of liked you when we were attending Beacon together. I didn't get a chance to tell you that before—before what happened to you happened."

Junior raised an eyebrow. "He knows?"

R nodded. "Yeah, he knows. A lot of people witnessed the whole thing."

"It's messed up," Gill said.

"Junior was there for me after the incident at Beacon," R explained to Gill. "I stayed with him for a few months and then left and got my own apartment. That's it. That's the extent of the relationship, and I don't want to talk about what happened at Beacon."

Even as R said it, her thoughts were plunging headfirst into the past, replaying the events of that traumatizing day over and over again in her head, which sounded louder and louder each time the flashes looped.

"R, are you okay?" Gill asked.

R looked down at the floor and saw blood. Puddles of it. She dropped her cigarette in horror. The puddles steadily grew until her feet were standing in the blood. Reflected in the puddle was herself when she was younger. Longer, curly hair and pink cheeks. It was the child-like face of a person whose innocence was incinerated after just one fleeting, crimson moment. Suddenly, sitting in what was just now one massive puddle was her severed arms. The fingers were twitching as if they were fighting for what little life they still had left, even though it was already hopeless. R tried to raise her hands so that she could look at them but realized she couldn't. Her metal arms didn't work at all. When she looked where they should be, all that was there were bloody stumps.

 _No, no, please!_

"R, R, it's okay, it's alright," Gill said, gripping her metal arm which was in fact still attached to her. The puddle and the twitching arms disappeared but R was still frozen and unable to talk. Her eyes darted over to the play still going. There was a different actor standing at the center of the stage now with her sleeves rolled up. She wore a black corset dress with a dark gray front, purple hem and purple laces on the back, and she also wore a belt that was a long purple ribbon edged in gray with a bow in the back and tied in the front, along with light gray stockings and pale gray ballet flats with ribbons around her lower legs. There was an odd bulge in her stomach, as if she was hiding something underneath her dress.

"In all the years we were trained to fight against the Grimm, we failed to realize the thing we needed to fight against most: fear," the young actress said. Tears were swimming in her eyes and her face slightly broke under the weight of whatever grief she carried.

"Fear surrounds us," she said, louder this time. "It infects every one of us and it tortures us, and it _laughs_ while it does it too." The actress' lips were quivering now and her voice was on the verge of cracking.

"It _laughs_ and it beats us down, until there's nothing we can do anymore but submit ourselves to it—it's easy to submit to it—and let it tear us apart—let it consume us."

Several actors in Grimm costumes leaped up onto the stage and tackled the actress, pretending to devour her and pull her apart. Something burst under the girl's dress, painting it in dark crimson, making R realize that it was a fake blood pack that was responsible for the bulge. The girl was openly crying now, as if she was literally being eaten. The performance on display looked too realistic to R and she wanted to vomit. Her stomach felt weak and empty. It had actually been a long time since the last time she ate. Witnessing a girl pretending to get consumed made her lose her appetite. Some of the other actors who were standing by off the stage rushed up to see if she was okay.

"R, listen to me, you're okay," Gill said again. R blinked and looked down, expecting to see the stumps where her arms used to be again and instead saw her metal ones back where they were supposed to be. She turned one hand, hearing the whirring sound as the machine complied to her mental command. Much to her surprise, she felt relieved to see her cybernetic arms. She couldn't be happier to see them, which had never happened before.

"I need something to eat, and then I need a bed," R said.

"That can be arranged," Junior replied.


	10. Ch 9: Fear Itself

Junior didn't actually have a whole lot in the way of food. A lot of it was the kind of food one would expect to find at a night club. Even so, R couldn't think of any reason to complain about a platter of nachos, with meat, tomatoes, and spicy guacamole all added to the mix. Afterwards, she downed a glass of brandy and almost fell asleep at the bar. Her insides were burning from the aftertaste of the drink but she was so tired that she barely noticed it.

"There are a couple rooms upstairs. I can give you two one," Junior said. His voice sounded like it was coming from two rooms away, even though R could see Junior right there through blurry vision. She groaned and readjusted her head on the counter. No matter where she put it, she still felt uncomfortable.

"Thank you, lead the way," Gill said.

R was too weak to protest when Gill took her in his arms and lifted her up. By that point, everything went dark.

 _The darkness didn't last long. Within seconds, she was back at Beacon, her hair long and luscious again. She was wearing a Huntress' uniform instead of the average, dirty clothes she wore now, which consisted of a dark crimson suit with long leggings and a black belt with a cube hooked to it. Standing in front of her was the Headmaster of Beacon himself, Professor Ozpin._

 _Tears slid down R's cheeks, which to her was embarrassing. She hated looking weak in front of Ozpin. She was afraid that that would change his outlook on her. She wanted to appear strong, capable of taking care of herself and standing up for herself. She had to be better than this._

 _"I don't know how you can be nice to me after I've made a mistake," R said between sobs. Her shoulders shook like an earthquake's power and the tears kept coming, stinging her eyes and gracing her skin._

 _Both of Ozpin's hands were lying atop his cane and his sharp, narrow eyes studied her closely. Outside of a fathomless curiosity, Ozpin's only other expression was father-like sympathy._

 _"Why should I stop being nice to you after you made a mistake?" Ozpin asked._

 _"Because I'm supposed to be better," R said. "I try so hard to make you proud. I try so hard to be_ exactly _the kind of Huntress I'm supposed to be and I fail whenever I get so close to accomplishing that."_

 _"All that happened today was that you didn't manage to discover your Semblance and unlock it. You will, in time. It's different for everyone," Ozpin explained._

 _"But I'm one of the only students this semester who hasn't yet, and the semester is almost over!" R cried. A knot formed in her throat and squeezed it, forcing more tears into her eyes. She rattled from the pain it caused as if the tip of a dagger was steadily pushing itself further into her neck._

 _"I let my focus derail and I got impatient. I'm not patient enough to find my Semblance," R said._

 _Ozpin smiled. "There, you see? You may have made mistakes, but you take responsibility by admitting you made them. That is always the first step in defeating them."_

 _"You really think so?" R asked._

 _"I_ know _so," Ozpin replied with a chuckle. "Here, come with me. I want to show you something."_

 _Still feeling a little deflated but more curious than anything else, R followed Ozpin outside to Beacon's courtyard. The night sky was completely clear of clouds, exposing the nakedness of the galaxy and all its stars. There was a countless number of them lighting up the night. The moon appeared more full than it usually did, applying more light and bathing the courtyard in a rich sapphire hue._

 _"My dear, you make mistakes, but here's something to know that might help you feel better should you feel this way ever again," Ozpin said._

 _"What is it?"_

 _"I have made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet, and do you want to know exactly how many?" Ozpin asked._

 _"How many?"_

 _Ozpin gestured his hand towards the sky. "As many as how many stars there are in this one galaxy."_

 _R stared up at the stars in disbelief. Surely it was impossible for anyone to make that many mistakes in his lifetime. How was that even possible?_

 _As if Ozpin was reading her thoughts, he said "it is possible. For me to make that many mistakes I mean. You, on the other hand, have made as many as a handful in your short life and will never make as many as_ I _have. You will learn to face them or they will one day face_ you _. Don't run away from them."_

 _R nodded, understanding more what Ozpin was getting at. Still, she wasn't sure where to go from that point on._

 _"I'm afraid, Professor Ozpin."_

 _"That is the second step in making amends for your mistakes. Drive out any fear that can prevent you from confronting your mistakes head-on. Stay calm."_

 _Ozpin reached out with his hand as if to touch R on the shoulder but frowned and stopped before he could. His arm retreated back to his side. R didn't even notice._

The Ripper rested his back against the wall of a building across the street from Junior's night club.

 _I know you're in there._

The Ripper didn't need any artificial way to track R down. He could feel her own Semblance taunting him, drawing him towards her in an odd mixture of ways. Sometimes it felt like a playful challenge and sometimes it felt like an opponent tossing insults at him to provoke him to attack her. Ever since R had unlocked her Semblance while training at Beacon, he was cursed with the unexplainable urge to slice her to pieces. Now after her murderous rampage that made her the most wanted person in the kingdom, the Ripper felt compelled more than ever to hunt her down and end her life, not just so that he could finally get her out of his head, but also to eradicate the fear she inevitably carried in the wake of running from the law, which ran the risk of drawing the Grimm to Vale again.

For years, the Ripper had fantasized different ways in which he would kill R. He imagined forcing R to stare up at his eyes, making sure his face is the last image R ever has in her head, just like how she has been the only image in his head for too long now.

Now he had her right where he wanted her, but even now, he knew he had time. He wanted to bask in the moment. Normally that would be considered a foolish move, as it was only delaying the inevitable, but here he relished the idea of haunting R first. He felt like he was in a position of power, and as long as R was still alive, he had a hold on that power.

 _Not too much longer now. In just a few minutes, I will have my claws in you._

R sat up with a pained gasp, eyes open so wide it hurt. Her breathing was heavy and shaky and it hurt to suck in oxygen. Her face and throat was slick with sweat. Looking around, she realized she was in a bed, safe in a small room with nothing else but a dresser and a chair, of which Gill was sitting in sleeping. A pale light was streaking in from the window covering the room in a dirty yellow blanket. The walls were made of a green, peeling wallpaper and the dark blue carpet was stained and even looked wet in certain places.

 _Not the best a hotel can offer for sure_.

Gill stirred in his chair and opened his eyes. He sat forward when he saw that R was awake.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked.

"How long was I out?"

"No more than an hour. It's nearing the middle of the night now," Gill explained.

R nodded and drew her knees in to hug them to her chest. It was somehow comforting to feel her chest heaving against her legs. It meant she was breathing. It meant she was still alive.

"We're upstairs above the club aren't we?" R asked.

"Yes," Gill nodded. "We're in Junior's room."

"I remember this place," R said.

Gill tilted his head, eyeing R curiously. "So there _was_ something more going on between you and Junior."

R lied back down so that she was staring up at the ceiling. "We _almost_ had something. We _almost_ went that far. But we didn't."

"I totally saw the chemistry flying like fireworks between you two," Gill said.

R couldn't tell if Gill was being sarcastic or he was jealous. Either way, it sounded slightly hostile. She glanced over at the window. The blinds were down so she couldn't see anything outside. The pale, dirty mustard light painting the blinds made her shiver, as if it was capable of spying on her. Outside, it was eerily quiet. There was the occasional sound of a car passing by, but the club was somewhat isolated from the rest of downtown, so it wasn't burdened by the noise of traffic.

"We didn't have much of a relationship—well, it was _about_ to become one," R said. "I needed a place to stay after leaving Beacon and I was also desperate to be with someone. I lost something valuable to me, so being with Junior was a temporary way of patching up that wound."

"I understand. So why did you leave him?" Gill asked.

"One night, he hit on some blond girl who came for information and in return she beat the crap out of him and his men. I didn't want to be associated with someone who saw every woman he met as fair game even though he was already with someone else, and someone who provoked fights. I couldn't have that kind of recklessness and conflict in my life," R explained.

Gill nodded and bit his lower lip in thought. "You were right to leave him."

"I'm just surprised he was willing to help this time," R admitted.

Gill got up from his chair and moved towards the bed. He gestured at it with his hand. "May I?"

R let a half smile go and silently nodded. Gill sat down next to R, pulling the covers over his legs. His hand strayed over to R's back and began rubbing it. His touch was like a heated blanket being thrust over R's shoulders. Her heart beat slightly faster and she didn't have to look in a mirror to know that her cheeks were turning a faint scarlet.

"You know, we were just getting started with something before the explosion happened," Gill said, a hint of mischief peaking in his voice.

R's heart burst into a frantic run and the skin underneath her armpits immediately turned damp. She remembered it all now. Pressing herself up against Gill in her apartment, surrendering herself over to him like a precious trophy.

 _Is he—is he actually suggesting we—?_

"Only if you want to. I'm curious if it'll help take your mind off of—off of everything for a little while," Gill said, confirming R's suspicions.

R didn't say anything, but her face didn't say 'no'. Gill took that to mean she was speechless but willing. He slowly wrapped his arms around R's waist and pulled her towards him so that his chest was against her back. He leaned his head down and proceeded to kiss her on the top of her head, then make his way down, brushing her hair aside and holding it in place so that he could kiss the back of her neck. The kisses came quietly and started out soft, almost as if he was holding back on purpose from being too intimate, then steadily transitioned to becoming more passionate. His hands moved so that his fingers grasped the bottom of her shirt with the intent of lifting it up.

 _This is it. This is what you've always wanted, isn't it? Isn't it?_

All the warmth and the feeling of not being alone withered away however when R's thoughts turned back to Petunia. It was one thing to lose her arms. It was a whole other thing to lose someone close to her forever. She was close to Gill too, or at least she believed she was, but Petunia filled a specific role that Gill could never do.

 _If I hadn't turned Petunia away and if I had let her come into my apartment, she'd probably still be alive._

"It's my fault Petunia is dead," R said.

Gill stopped. His fingers stayed where they were.

"No. No it's not," Gill replied.

"What do you mean? Of course it is!" R's voice rose and then cracked like a vase getting tossed up and smashing against a ceiling.

"You were there when I told Petunia to go away. She would still be alive if I had let her in," she explained.

"You didn't know that that bombing was going to happen," Gill pointed out.

"I was selfish. Petunia looked up to me because I payed attention to her and took care of her like no one else did and I only focused on what _I_ wanted."

"And what was it that you wanted?" Gill asked.

"To feel that pleasure of being with someone like you. I was desperate for that attention," R said.

One of Gill's hands rose so it was sliding up and down R's arm. "You've been through so much. It makes sense you felt that way."

R wiped a tear from her eye before it could drop down her cheek. Her body was an intensive mixture of hot and cold. Her throat burned but her fingers were swollen with ice.

"R, listen," Gill said. "You've made mistakes, in some cases very bad ones, but now that you're here safe, and I'm here with you, don't you think you deserve to have what you've wanted after everything you've lost? Don't you want to gain something that you know you want and can't lose?"

R swiped another tear away and nodded, feeling her shoulders relax as she expelled a heavy breath. The bipolar mix of hot and cold melted into a comfortable warmth.

 _He's right. I'm here with him, with the opportunity to feel that closeness I've always wanted to feel._

R glanced over at the window again, as if someone was about to smash through it, run to her, and strangle every bit of life out of her. She shivered after an icicle of cold jabbed her heart, which made Gill hold on to her tighter.

"Come on, R. Let go. It's okay," he said.

It was only then that R realized every muscle in her body was tensed up. She allowed herself to rest, feeling herself droop and settle against Gill's chest.

"Can we just be like this for a while? I don't have the energy right now." R said. She glanced over at the window once again, feeling something squirm in her stomach as if a worm was trapped inside it and was struggling to get out.

Gill didn't say anything at first for what felt like too long.

"Of course," he finally replied, brushing R's hair with his fingers.

"I'll feel better, and well enough, after we're out of this kingdom."


End file.
